EMOTIONAL TUG OF WAR: HEALING

Have you ever met someone who lures love in and then pushes love away?  Have you ever met someone who repeats this negative pattern consistently?

 

Why do they do this?

 

Typically this person has been deeply scarred by someone(s) from their past who repeated this same pattern to them.

 

This reveals that their heart and soul are still very broken and this dysfunctional action is the only understanding they have of what love truly is.

 

Of course this isn't love at all...it is actually a form emotional abuse. 

 

Ultimately, this behavior exposes the depth of their own brokenness, and the level of pain and fear that still haunts their own heart and soul.

 

How can a person overcome this pain, fear, and emotional abuse that they now perpetuate upon others?

 

1. Recognize the pattern:

Lure love in....push it away. Then repeat. Learn to stop.

 

2. Recognize that this in fact emotional abuse. 

 

3. Ask yourself if anyone did this same thing you from your past?

 

4. If the answer is, "Yes," recognize that although they may have claimed to love you, they actually didn't, as this is in fact emotional abuse. Then consciously choose to forgive them for their abuse.

 

5. If the answer is "No," ask yourself why you are abusing the people in your own life by repeating this pattern? Recognize that if you do not stop this emotional abuse, the person you are abusing, may in time, eventually leave.

 

6. Ask the person/people in your life that you have done this to, to forgive you. Explain to them that you now see and understand the pattern, that it is not love, but rather emotional abuse.

 

7. Ask God to heal your broken heart and soul. Become extremely conscious of your negative tendency and commit to repeatedly luring love in...and asking love to stay.

 

8. Ask the person who wants to love you to be patient with you and point out to you every time you repeat this destructive pattern. Then you can't get defensive. You must want to know when you are repeating the pattern and choose to heal.

 

9. Focus on loving only tenderly, and only ask love to stay. 

 

If you follow these steps and the person genuinely loves you, it is my firm belief that love will choose to stay as long as they see progress. No one is perfect and we all make periodic mistakes. When you do, repeat the healing pattern: recognize the negative behavior and ask for forgivness. Make up. Heal. Grow. Repeat. This is how hearts and souls heal and how love truly endures. pain, fear, and abuse. Ask for forgiveness. Make up. Heal Repeat. This is how hearts and souls heal and how true love endures.

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