1. Romance When you first meet a woman, if she is a romantic, instinctively, one of the first things she is looking for in you is an element of romance. Romance is defined differently by every woman. It might start with an appropriate kind of eye contact across a room. To some it might mean a subtle pick up line. It could be an appropriate kind of flirting (non-sexual). The key, when you first meet a potential date, is to never come on too strong. Too much, too soon comes off stalkerish and can scare her away. The key? Subtle, tender, slow and mysteriously romantic is always best. As your relationship grows, discover what she thinks is romantic and be very intentional about it; often. A little romantic effort given regularly goes a long way in her heart. 2. Humor Humor is an incredibly important aspect to every relationship. Women intuitively ask themselves, “Does he make me laugh?” If you can make her laugh often, you have discovered a secret door to her heart. Evaluate your relationship, do you laugh together often? If not, you need to fix this pronto. Laughing together regularly will overcome fear, tension, and all kinds of other relationship pressures. Laughter will connect your hearts together like few other things can. Here are couple of suggestions to laugh together: Go see a comedy or find something funny online and send her a text. Discover what makes her laugh and push that button often. As they say, “laughter is the best form of medicine.” 3. God, Her and Other’s Centered Once you have established a mutual connection and a relationship, the next thing a woman instinctively asks herself is this: “Is he self-centered or other’s centered?” A woman wants an unselfish man. If she loves God, she is asking herself, “Does he love God?” She will put you through a series of mental and emotional tests to see what you are truly like. If you are God centered, you will be other’s centered: you will be constantly putting her and others above yourself. This quality will be demonstrated in a multitude of ways such as opening her door, walking beside her instead of in front of her, holding her hand, giving her a long comforting non-sexual hug, sending her cards, texts or notes, or giving her flowers for no occasion. It’s usually the small unselfish daily acts that mean most to her and demonstrate that you put her above yourself.
4. Patience According to 1 Corinthians 13 the first defining quality of love is patience. A woman who is searching for genuine love is asking herself, “Is he patient?” Lust moves quick. Lust’s only interest is sleeping with a woman, while love desires a lifetime together. If you genuinely love a woman, you won’t pressure her to move faster than her heart cares to. When your love is sincere, your end goal isn’t the bedroom, but the church aisle. Love doesn’t look for a quick sexual fix, but a lifetime of sexual fulfillment. Ultimately, love’s goal isn’t merely to capture her body, but her heart. This requires patience. 5. Hard Worker One of the next instinctive questions a woman asks herself is, “Is he a hard worker?” No woman wants a sloth. A man that loves his woman wants to conquer the world for her. He wants to provide for and support her. It’s not that she can’t be independent or support herself, it’s that he wants her to feel like she’s never alone in the world. Some women make more money than their man and that’s okay. A man that is a hard worker wants their relationship to act like a team and work together to accomplish their dreams and goals. When he has a clear definable task at hand, he doesn’t put it off, but he attacks the task with all his might. His motivation? Love – he wants to take care of her and her needs. 6. Passion Do you put anything above your wife? If you do, she instinctively knows it…and secretly resents it. If you want the most amazing relationship on the planet, including your sex life, put God first and her second. Things like your job, money, time with the guys, your favorite hobby or toy can’t be #2. If any of these things hold a greater place in your heart than her, she knows it, and she is secretly longing to be in that place. What women truly want is your passion. In longer term relationships passion can fade. Don’t let it. Rediscover your passion together, emotionally then sexually. You want a passion reality check? Ask your wife this question: “Is there anything I put above you other than God?” Let her answer honestly, then vow to make God #1 and her #2. Your wife doesn’t want to take away your favorite toys, hobbies or friends; she merely wants to be more important than them. When she is your passion, you will see a renewed fire in her eyes and the spark you may be lacking in your relationship will be rekindled to a wildfire.
7. Best Friend I am firmly convinced, that the #1 thing every woman is looking for is her best friend. Women long for a deep emotional connection that will last a lifetime. Yes, they want all these other things mentioned above, but what they crave most is their best friend. What does it look like to be a best friend? She wants to be the one you share all your secrets with. She wants to know she can share her secrets with you too, and that you will always keep them safe. She wants to know that she can trust you to always look out for her best interest. When she has news, she wants you to be the first person she shares it with. She wants you to want to be that first person. When you are her best friend, you have her back, come hell or high water. You always put her above everything and everyone else. You dream together, pray together, play together, take on the world together, and make love together. You have babies together and create a family together. Maintaining a best friendship takes work, but work well worth the outcome. How do you maintain your best friendship? Love. Forgive. Realize that being right in a disagreement is far less important than maintaining the spirit of your relationship. Regularly show her that your greatest desire is her. Put her above everyone and everything other than God and she will find you entirely irresistible.