Here are two simple practical excercise that will help you discover joy in your relationship with your partner.
Your 'Joy List:' The Destination
Find about an hour or two with your spouse, fiance', girlfriend, or boyfriend
and do this:
1. Create a list of as many of the things (people, places, experiences, things, etc.) in your lives that brought you the most joy and best memories. They can be experiences that you had seperate from each other or that you had together. [Create your lists seperately from each other.] After you have created your list seprately, come together and share your lists.
2. Create a list of as many of the things (people, places, experiences, things, etc.) you haven't yet done, but want to do. Again, create your lists indepedant of each other, then come together and share your lists.
This simple excercise will most likely help you discover a few things about your parnter that you didn't know. Much like a road trip, your 'joy list' is your destination. It's where you want to go as a couple. Next, it's time to set goals.
Your Practical Goals: The Roads
Now that you have created your joy list, and shared them with each other, it's time to set goals.
As I mentioned, your 'joy list' is the destination. However, just like a road trip, you have to select both your destination and then navigate your next turn. Setting goals together, is your 'next turn.'
Goals are the practical 'bite sized' steps that enable you to take action together.
Here is another practical exercise to help you reach your goal of 'ultimate joy.'
1. Now, seperately from each other (different rooms), create a list of your immediate goals that you think will take you to your destination of you 'joy list.'
2. Your immediate goals list should contain as many practical steps as you can think of: possibly as many as 30-40 goals of practical actions that you can take together. I know this sounds like a lot of goals, but the more precise you can be, the faster your journey to your destination of 'ultimate joy.'
When you have both completed your goals list, come together and share them with each other face to face. Then 'intermingle' your goals together: one of his, one of hers, and so forth. Then prioritize them for what you think should happen next.
When you do these two simple excercises as a couple, you'll have a clear understanding or each other's priorities and goals. You'll also understand what brings your partner joy.
I highly suggest that each partner focus not on what 'makes you happy,' but on what makes your partner happy. Make your partner's joy your priority and your relationship will soar to new heights. If you follow these few tips, you'll work together more seamlessly as a couple and create the most passionate bond in your relationship.